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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30054711">Part of the Routine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/VesuviusIamHere/pseuds/VesuviusIamHere'>VesuviusIamHere</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn &amp; Related Fandoms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining, homophobia cause it's the ol' times but nothing too bad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:30:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,195</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30054711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/VesuviusIamHere/pseuds/VesuviusIamHere</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom always felt sure of himself. He always followed a routine in his life like Aunt Polly being mad at him, that he always finds something to do in town, and he is best friends with Huckleberry Finn. One day, the routine is broken and the world around Tom changes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Huckleberry Finn &amp; Tom Sawyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Part of the Routine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Some themes of internalized homophobia and biphobia!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As he walked down the same path to go home Tom felt that his familiar environment was suddenly, very unfamiliar. Something had changed. Everything was the same, but also so different. Tom felt confident on his path home never afraid to roam at night. Never afraid, was a lie. Tom was very afraid at that moment. The boring handmade road was too crooked for it to make sense. The ground suddenly felt rough. For the first time the calluses in his feet felt too soft and vulnerable. The moonlight did not shine bright enough for him to see what was ahead. For the first time Tom felt lost. When the word, lost, came to his brain, he tried to brush it off. He decided to runaway from his thoughts before they caught up to him.</p>
<p>Tom made it home safely like he always did. Like always, Aunt Polly reprimanded him about staying out too late. This is what he needed, familiarity.</p>
<p>“Do you have any idea how worried sick-,” She stopped.</p>
<p>Why did she stop, Tom thought to himself.</p>
<p>She put her hand gently on his shoulder. Tom hated that because this was not part of the routine.</p>
<p>“You look scared, are you okay,” She asked softly.</p>
<p>“I’m fine,” Tom responded uncomfortably.</p>
<p>Lost, the word came into his brain. He winced it away with a big grin for Aunt Polly.</p>
<p>Then, she looked annoyed, “Were you trying to trick me with puppy eyes.”</p>
<p>The routine had returned.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Tom dreaded going to sleep. He knew his thoughts would catch up to him there. So, he desperately tried to find a book and a candle. It was a nice solution to read a book by candlelight.</p>
<p>He awoke the next morning, in trouble. Aunt Polly was horrified to have learned Tom left a candle on the whole night. This was part of the routine.</p>
<p>He did his chores and helped Aunt Polly around the house like his usual routine.</p>
<p>He walked around the town to find someone to spend time with. He somehow entertained himself the whole day. He had no reason to see Huck today. It was the routine sometimes. Tom got busy and didn’t visit Huck. It happened. Huck always understood.</p>
<p>Tom went home when the sun was setting. For no reason just because, he told himself. Aunt Polly still found something to be mad at him. At some point, he did fall asleep in bed until he heard a familiar <em>meow</em>.</p>
<p>This was part of his routine, whenever Huck needed to see him at night he calls to him like a cat. This was normal. Tom liked it. Huck would always bring adventure not only to his day, but at night.</p>
<p>This time, Tom lied to himself he was too sleepy to stand up. The thing about lying to yourself it’s that you don’t believe it, Tom thought as he pushed his blankets off. He crawled out the window and saw Huck waiting for him near his fence. It was too dark to see what expression Huck was making. As he got closer it became clearer Huck wasn’t happy.</p>
<p>“Hey Huck,” Tom said trying to sound as tired as possible.</p>
<p>Huck didn’t respond for a while. For the first time there was a long uncomfortable silence between them. “Hey,” Huck broke it, “how you doing?”</p>
<p>“Did you wake me up in the middle of the night to ask me how I’m doing?” Tom asked.</p>
<p>“Yes, because you’ve been strange,” Huck responded.</p>
<p>Tom didn’t know what to say. He wanted to keep his brain empty. His brain was so loud with constant thoughts. He didn’t want to explore them. “Okay, can I go back to sleep?”</p>
<p>“Sorry to wake you,” Huck said in disappointment and left.</p>
<p>Tom hated that he was woken and that he was wide awake. The thoughts that he was running away from had caught up to him, finally.</p>
<p>The cause of his pain was that day when he felt lost for the first time. He had stood by the river with Huck. Huck had taken him some place to explore like they’ve always done since they were kids. They are rowdy boys. The world always felt like it was theirs. At some point Huck and Tom argued. By arguing it was Tom pressuring Huck to do something stupid, and Huck wanting to do nothing with it. Tom ended it by pushing Huck into the river. Huck managed to grab Tom’s hand as he fell. They both fell into the shallow river.</p>
<p>Huck and Tom have always been close emotionally and physically. Tom was a very affectionate person and has given Huck many hugs. Huck at first hated them but eventually grew to accept them. Why was this time any different?</p>
<p>Tom had fallen on top of Huck and was awfully close to his face. A thought had betrayed him at that moment. The feeling of bringing his face closer to Huck’s. The thought didn’t have time to finish because Tom, his face all red, flew right up. He mentioned something about visiting Becky or something and ran off.  When he looked back, he saw that Huck’s face was all red too.</p>
<p>Did Huck know his thoughts at the river? Did Huck-</p>
<p>He didn’t want to finish it was wrong to feel this way. He had loved Becky, he had loved Amy, and many other pretty girls. Love is a beautiful feeling. He loved the feeling of loving them. He loved telling them that he loved them and would marry them. He loved openly. That was the routine.</p>
<hr/>
<p>In the morning, he wanted to help Aunt Polly cover the hole in the ceiling. He took his tools to the roof and begun hammering. He pretended the roof was his brain as he hit it.</p>
<p>So, Tom got reprimanded for making the hole bigger. Aunt Polly suggested Huck should fix it, and she would invite him for dinner. Tom lied about Huck leaving town with Mrs. Douglas.</p>
<p>After he ate lunch, he attempted to fix the roof again. This time gently and quietly. Quiet enough to finally hear his thoughts.</p>
<p>Tom realized Huck would blush a lot. Tom liked making Huck flustered. He found it fun to play around with people’s feelings. Tom has always been mischievous like that, part of the routine. He knew Huck loved him a lot. Huck was a good person unlike Tom. He came to realize, that Huck really, really loved him. He always knew that. It’s just he never put these words clearly in his head. For a few seconds, he felt disgusted at the thought of Huck loving him. It must be wrong. Huck was wrong, but he always liked that about Huck. Huck was always seen wrong by everyone’s standards. He loved that he was so close to someone like that. He felt he should be disgusted by Huck’s love, but he wasn’t. He was always happy he had someone who loved him. It's normal to want to be loved.</p>
<p>Tom had finished repairing the roof. He lied there looking at the clouds slowly slide by. He loved Huckleberry Finn and it was all wrong.</p>
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